When You Come Back Down
by ShaViva
Summary: After the events of Fortunate Journey Season 4, Sheppard reflects on the need to let Sabina return to active duty. My answer to Penelope the Perky Penguin's song challenge.


**When You Come Back Down**

Author: ShaViva

Rating: K

Season: season 5, after Search and Rescue but before The Seed.

Summary: After the events of Fortunate Journey Season 4, Sheppard reflects on the need to let Sabina return to active duty. My answer to Penelope the Perky Penguin's song challenge.

Classifications: Romance

Pairings: John and Sabina Sheppard

Spoilers for: previous stories in the Fortunate Journey series!

Disclaimer: I am unfortunately not associated in any way with the creators, owners, or producers of Stargate or any of its media franchises, which is obvious because SGA would still be on! All publicly recognizable characters, settings, equipment, etc are the property of whoever owns them. Any original characters, plot, settings, and anything else I made up are the property of me, the author. No copyright infringement is intended.

Copyright (c) 2011 ShaViva

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**Authors Note:**

Okay, so this is my answer to **Penelope the Perky Penguin**'s song challenge, coming in at 999 words in Word, minus the notes and disclaimer. It follows on directly from Fortunate Journey Season 4 - if you haven't read that this probably won't make a great deal of sense - sorry. **BrnEyesTX **inspired me to set my challenge response in my FJ AUverse because she's just been so enthusiatic about a season 5 story (for which I thank her!). I haven't started FJS5 but hopefully this will be an appreciated addition, a LONG time in coming. Oh, and the song is 'When you come back down' by Nickle Creek. It's really beautiful so if you haven't heard it, check it out on YouTube.

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**When You Come Back Down - John's Point Of View**

I knew it was time. Sabina was fully recovered from her ordeal on Michael's ship ... hell, she'd even submitted willingly to talking to the base psychologist about the whole thing, _not_ like her at all. She wanted to get back to offworld duty and although a large part of me wanted to say no – the part that had suffered through too many weeks of wondering if she was even alive – the larger, more rational part knew I couldn't hold her back.

I had to give her my support.

She was in her lab but instead of working her gaze was directed to the view of the ocean outside. Her expression was wistful, in a good way ... like she was thinking about something that pleased her greatly. Since we were still buzzing over the news that Sabina was pregnant I decided with uncharacteristic whimsy that she was thinking about the little boy who'd be ours in just six months. I stopped, content to watch my wife daydream about a future that was full of promise. Music floated from her computer, a new song starting. As I watched her I listened, the lyrics impacting unexpectedly.

"_You got to leave me now.  
You got to go alone.  
You got to chase a dream,  
one that's all your own  
before it slips away."_

That was Sabina, always so full of purpose, so determined to make her way in the world. And okay, she wasn't going out there alone – Lorne had plenty of his own emotion to drive his protective instincts – but she wouldn't be with _me_. I'd always struggled with not being there when she was off world. Now it wasn't just her I had to worry about and the struggle was all the greater.

"_When you're flyin' high  
take my heart along.  
I'll be the harmony  
to every lonely song  
that you'll learn to play._

_And when you're soaring through the air,  
I'll be your solid ground.  
Take every chance you dare.  
I'll still be there,  
when you come back down...  
when you come back down."_

She had my heart and the entire city knew it - she was _my_ solid ground. Hard to hide that fact when I'd all but had a meltdown in the control room in the days after she and Teyla had disappeared, when I'd gone to get her off that Hive ship with an injury so bad I'd barely been able to stand straight. I didn't _want _her taking chances, not without me there to back her up.

"_I keep lookin' up  
awaitin' your return.  
My greatest fear will be  
that you will crash and burn,  
and I won't feel your fire."_

Was it just a coincidence that Sabina was playing this particular song, right now, when I'd resolved to be the adult, to step up and 'do the right thing'? Because those lyrics cut through me, sending a dizzying film clip through my head - all the times I'd come too close to losing her. On the floor of the Wraith weapons room, already pronounced dead by Carson, her soul trapped in the Ancient device. Escaped from a Wraith queen, out of her head with confusion, in a Dart too far from home. Rematerialising in Lorne's arms, so pale and still I can vividly recall the way my heart stuttered.

"_I'll be the other hand  
that always holds the line  
connected in between  
your sweet heart and mine.  
I'm strung out on that wire."_

But was I any better? No, we were matched, somehow only finding each other a galaxy away from Earth. I'd never believed in fate before but Sabina and I shouldn't have met – the odds were ... almost _infinitely _small. And yet we had, because I sat in that chair and Sabina snuck onto the base the _only _day it could have mattered.

"_And I'll be on the other end  
to hear you when you call.  
Angel you were born to fly  
and if you get too high,  
I'll catch you when you fall...  
catch you when you fall."_

Born to fly, to throw herself so far into the mix sometimes she struggled to find her way out again. Sabina would deny it – hell, anyone who'd known me in the past would scoff in disbelief - but _I_ was the voice of reason, the one to remind _her_ of the consequences. It had been a while since I'd worked out that all I could do was make sure Sabina had every advantage – the best team and whatever skills I could teach her.

"_Your memory is the sunshine  
every new day brings.  
I know the sky is calling.  
Angel let me help you with your wings."_

That spurred me on. With a deep breath, I stepped forward, drawing her attention. She smiled, her brown eyes glowing with the emotion her daydreams had wrought.

"John," she said, holding out a hand to me.

"Nice song," I commented, moving forward. Pulling her to her feet I wrapped my arms around her, feeling the sudden need to hold on tightly. I felt that connection, the one that had been there since my eyes had locked with hers that first day on Atlantis and I'd known my life was forever changed.

"Are you okay?" she asked after a few moments of just letting me cling to her.

"Not really," I admitted. "But I'll say it anyway. It's time you returned to active duty. Lorne's been in my office almost every day, requesting his team be put back into the roster."

"And that worries you ... because of the baby?" Sabina asked carefully.

"Because I love you," I said simply.

She smiled, understanding immediately. Because loving her _was _the reason ... for everything. It came with a large slice of downside, the ever present fear of loss. But as I urged her closer, kissing her deeply, I was reminded again that the upside more than compensated.

"_And when you're soaring through the air  
I'll be your solid ground.  
Take every chance you dare.  
I'll still be there  
when you come back down...  
__when you come back down."_

**The End!**


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